cheerleader | for tightjeans

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Chrissy's known for a few days that they need to talk. She isn't avoiding him as much as letting their busy lives at school take over, as she gives herself time to think. They still eat lunch together outside so he can smoke, he still drives her to and from school. But there's an edge to her that's anxious, much like she had been in the days leading up to telling him that she was ending things with Jason because she wanted to be with him.

And she thinks he can recognize when she's afraid or nervous, two things that she's very much feeling now. Every time she even thinks about glancing at the pregnancy test hiding in her backpack, she starts to feel terrified. Chrissy feels backed into a corner, like she has no options. And she really doesn't want to force that same kind of pressure on him. He's just gotten his life back together, and they worked so hard together to get him acclimated to being back at school. It wouldn't be right to pull the rug out from under him now.

But she also can't not tell him either. She's not the kind of girl that lies by omission. So she finds her courage on the way to school one day to ask him to go anywhere other than Hawkins High School. They find themselves sitting in his car near the lake, Chrissy anxiously fidgeting.

"There's something that you need to know."

She can barely speak over a whisper, her stomach is in so many knots.

"It's important."

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Billy knew something was wrong the day he picked her up for school and she was fidgety but he trusted her to tell him what was going on when she was ready and so he didn’t push it. The second day, he really started to feel the distance she was enforcing but, again, he let it go, trusting her to know when she was up for spilling the beans on whatever had her so anxious.

By day three, he was wracking his brain trying to figure out what he could have done wrong to have her so fucking anxious around him.

And day four, she asked him to take her anywhere but school and a pit of dread opened up in his stomach and he was certain she was about to break up with him, as if she’d decided, actually, Carver was the better option and she was done with his bullshit and PTSD and nightmares and the fact that he usually preferred to fuck guys despite the fact that he also really fucking liked her.

The words leave her lips and Billy’s fingers twitch for a smoke.

“Okay. Yeah. What’s up?”

She hates the look on his face in that moment, and she realizes what she's done wrong. He's told her about his mom and she knows that he fears people leaving him. And now she's just made it seem like they need to talk about breaking up or something. Her cheeks turn pink as she frowns, digging through her backpack until she can grab hold of the home pregnancy test.

"I've only taken the one, but..." She trails off, setting the test down on the center console for him to see.

"I'm pregnant, Billy. And I have no idea what we're going to do."

She knows her mom won't accept this. Laura Cunningham is vocal about not liking Billy, and wanting Chrissy to get back with Jason. That's not an option, as far as Chrissy's concerned. She has no intention of ending things with Billy. Not when she's come to care about him as much as she does.

And maybe that's why she's so nervous. She's thought about how Jason would act in this situation, and worries that maybe Billy will be mad at her. Furious that she couldn't be perfect and prevent it from happening. Maybe he'll want to end things with her so he doesn't have to be attached to a pregnant girl.

All of these things swirl in her mind, and Chrissy winds up ducking her head so hopefully he won't see the tears that are trickling down her cheeks.

Great. She’s not even going to say the words. He’s going to get some ridiculous letter explaining that Carver is a better fit and she doesn’t wanna date a faggot and that her mum was right about him and he’s going to be all alone again in his stupid little apartment bought with money she thinks he got as compensation for a fire that never happened and…

“Wait what?” Pregnant? They’d been careful! They’d used protection and they’d literally only slept together once! How was this even possible?!

But the test airs there in front of him, a seemingly harmless piece of plastic that confirms their whole life has just been flipped. “Pregnant?” He lets out a relieved laugh that sounds painful. “You didn’t bring me out here to dump me for Carver or some other good little bible thumper?”

That laugh breaks her heart. A hand presses against her chest like it might be able to soothe it. "Billy, look at me." It's more a soft request than a demand, her hand reaching out to cup his cheek. If he doesn't turn his head to look toward her, she'll try to gently nudge him in the right direction.

"I care about you. A lot. I don't want to be with anyone but you."

It's hard to force a smile, but she does it for him. Even as tears continue to streak down her face. "But if you want to break up because of this? I don't think I can blame you."

Billy leans into her soft hand and feels his eyes burn with the tell-tale sting of tears, letting the relief that she’s not dumping him wash over him before her next words register in his mind and his head snaps up to her so quickly he almost gives himself whiplash with the force.

“What? No. Break up? No, Chris. No.” Both his hands cup her face and he presses a kiss to her forehead, wiping away her tears with his thumbs.
The idea of that causes him far more anxiety than he cares to address right now. There’d been a time when he first realized that he actually had feelings for her and he’d had a sexuality crisis before realizing that he didn’t give a shit about labels and what this made him and he wasn’t about to throw all their growth away because of this. “I’m not going anywhere. Whatever you wanna do.

“I… I’ve still got money… from the compensation if you wanna… y’know?” He couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

Chrissy really needs him to say the words right now. It's too easy to read into what he's saying, and there's a few different options of what he's hinting at. But she manages a soft laugh at the press of his lips to her forehead, genuinely relieved that she won't have to do this alone.

Whatever happens, they can figure it out together.

"I've been so afraid to tell you," she murmurs, letting out a shaky breath. "But it sounds like you want..."

Pausing, her face contorts into confusion. "I'm not sure what you're hinting at, Billy."

“This is what you’ve been so anxious about all week, isn’t it?” It’s not a question despite how it’s phrased; he knows it is. It hurts that she’s carried this alone for days but he knows now and they can do this together, whatever path Chrissy chooses to take.

“Your mum already hates me. This will… I don’t want things to be worst with her.” He sighs and fights down the bile in his throat when he asks; “do you want to… get rid of it?” Fuck he’d kill for a smoke.

"What?" She gasps a little, giving a quick shake of her head. "No." It doesn't feel right to dive into any issues she may or may not have with that, because she's more curious about his feelings on the matter.

"Do you want me to?"

Yeah, he doesn't want things to be worse with her mom. But the thing is, Laura Cunningham is never going to like him. And she expects Chrissy to be thin, pretty, and perfect at all times. This pregnancy isn't going to let her be any of those things. It's essentially her mother's worst nightmare. And she's a little terrified of what will happen when she finally works up the courage to tell her. She thinks she's more terrified of hearing Billy's answer, though.

What if he says yes?

“No.” His answer comes without hesitation because of course he doesn’t want that. This baby, while it will make things difficult, is a part of them and, while he’s absolutely fucking terrified of what kinda dad he’ll be, anything that’s part Chrissy is something the world deserves.

“If you want to keep this baby, then I’m in. I’m all in. But we do what you wanna do here, babe.” It’s going to be harder on her, after all. Billy’s reputation has already gone down the shitter and he’s only ever looked on with pity and resentment now.

Her mum is going to hate every thing about this, she’s going to cop shit from every direction. “I just… I worry about what’s going to happen. This town? These people? They won’t be kind.”

"I want to keep the baby," she insists, crying a little harder as she realizes that everything has changed. They can't ever go back to the way things were. It's only a path forward, one that ends with them as parents. The thing is, she actually likes the sound of that. It's something that she knows they can both be happy with, since they're staying together.

He's right, though. People are going to be cruel. They're going to say terrible things, and her friends are all going to turn on her. And Jason...

God, she's terrified of what he might do. He was pissed when she ended things with him so she could go be with Billy. He's going to have a lot to say about this, and none of it will be kind. Which of course, makes her cry even more. She's a mess by the time she tries crawling over into his seat to curl up in his lap.

"It doesn't matter what people say to me. I want to keep the baby, and we can..." She has to stop talking in order to sob a little, clinging to him. "What? Get married?"

Chrissy’s sobs make Billy’s heart twist and it feels like a knife seeing her so upset and afraid. “Then we keep it, Chris.” It was her choice and he could deal with his own feelings of fear and anxiety in the coming months. They’d deal with it together, that’s what you’re supposed to do right? That’s what parents do.

When she climbs over the middle console and tries to get into his lap, Billy pushes his chair back as far as he can to make room and he holds her tightly to her chest. The pregnancy test has clattered to the floor at his feet and he makes a note to get it later.

“Yeah? You wanna marry me, Chrissy? Make an honest man out of me?” His heart seizes at the idea but he realizes there’s no negative feelings there. He hadn’t really given it much though but he knows they could make it work and it would probably not be a bad thing; he dreads to think of what this town would think of her being an unwed teen mother instead of just a teen mother. “At least the three of us would have the same name.”

She's crying, but still manages a laugh when he suggests that she make an honest man out of him. This is all happening really fast, and she knows that neither of them are sure what to do. But the thought that they could find a way to bring a life into the world and make it work is reassuring on some level. He's right in that the silver lining is they'd all have the same last name. She wouldn't have to worry about being unwed. Her baby would have its father in their life. They'd be a family.

"Then let's do it," she murmurs, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Let's get married." It's hard to prevent a giddy little laugh from bubbling forward. She had been so afraid he might turn her away. How stupid is that?

"Yeah?" Billy smiles into the kiss. "I guess we're getting married. You're a ballsy woman, Chrissy Cunningham, marrying a man like me." A man who was an absolute mess of a human, who'd been a part of killing a whole bunch of people, who still couldn't even talk about his trauma. Who was terrified about the idea of becoming a dad at all, let alone now at 18 years old.

But they could do this. They could make this work. Except he needed to do this properly, so he sits back in the chair enough to meet Chrissy's eyes and he smiles. "Chrissy Cunningham, will you marry me?"

This whole thing is completely surreal. Chrissy softly laughs, showing some of her disbelief. But she's smiling, and gives an eager nod of her head. "Yeah," she answers his question, leaning in to kiss him one more time. "I'd really like that."

It's nice to bury herself in him and the happiness of this moment. She doesn't have to think about the rest of the world that exists outside his car, doesn't need to worry about what her mom will say or think. It's just them, and the life they made together, and maybe they can figure everything out together.

"But first, I think I need to go see a doctor."

Billy smiles into the kiss and wraps his arms tight around Chrissy’s waist. This whole situation is beyond bizarre and Billy knows they’re both going to feel the stress of this situation in the coming months. But for right now, they can just bask in this moment of happiness that this is going to happen.

“Yeah? How do we even find a doctor for this? It’s gotta be a special one, right?”

"It needs to be a special one that's two or three towns over." Chrissy's not sure of a lot right now, but she knows they need to buy themselves as much time as possible. And going to any doctor in Hawkins is out of the question.

"I'll look and see what I can find later today. Try to schedule an appointment for next week. We can skip school and make a whole day out of it."

With his arms around her, she's at least able to relax. She's been so stressed and has felt so alone that she's almost feeling exhausted now that things are out in the open between them. "We could skip today too, if you wanted. I'm feeling pretty tired."

"Alright, yeah. You just let me know when it is and I'll be with you." She'd need him to drive her there but he was glad she wanted to actually include him in this. "You can call from my place. I'll probably need to get a phone book but it'd be a better option, y'know? To not call where your mum can hear."

He presses a soft kiss to her temple and smiles. "Yeah? Lookit you, Chrissy Cunningham. Hanging out with me, getting pregnant and married in high school and now skipping? Maybe I am a bad influence." There's a softness to his tone that he only ever has with her at his words.

"You're a terrible influence," she tries to sound grumpy about it, but her smile gives her away. If he is that bad of an influence on her, she really doesn't mind. Besides, skipping school is now the least of her worries.

"But Billy, we have to be so careful. Okay? My mom can't find out yet." She bites at her lip after insisting on that, even as she leans toward him for comfort and support.

"I'm really afraid of what she'll do when she finds out."

"The worst." He agrees with a smile. Really, they both knew he could actually make Chrissy do anything she didn't want to and he wouldn't even if he could.

He nods, gripping her hands gently. "She won't. It's just between us, alright? For as long as we can keep it that way." Pressing his forehead against Chrissy's, Billy sighs softly. "No matter what, we're in this together."

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